need another drink. this is the easiest way
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize