just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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