i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
