Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
