Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
