I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
