A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
