Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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