Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
