Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
