i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
