He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
