buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
