trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
