Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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