70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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