We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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