Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
