Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
