Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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