thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
