So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
