I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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