no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
