Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
