Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
