Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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