if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
