its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
