No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
