her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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