Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
