i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
