last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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