i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
too bad you live with your parents still
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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