distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
