It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You left your phone here
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