beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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