people are starting to question the shark bite story
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
