marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
