can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
