There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
