sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
