I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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