What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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