i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
