You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
