He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
