clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
