Just cropdusted the office
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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