I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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