Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
