You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
