my mouth tastes like poor choices
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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