I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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