I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
